The Sun Will Set For You
by MB86
Summary: John Sheppard had been stranded on a planet without his team before, but this time it was different, much different. This time he wasn't sure if he was ever going to make it back. Response to GW whump thread challenge.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So, this is basically in response to a challenge over at the GW Sheppard Whump thread. The prompt was to pick a music video and write a fic based on it. I think I may have gone a little overboard with it but I couldn't help it, the muse ran away with it. So, I had to break it into chapters, five to be exact. So anyway here is the beginning..._

__**The Sun Will Set For You**

**Chapter 1**

_The smoke burned his eyes and throat, he didn't know how much longer he could hold out for. Through watery eyes, he saw the fiery, orange flames swallow everything in their path, crackling as it went. He tried to call out but every time he did, he just seemed to inhale more smoke and would end up coughing uncontrollably. He stumbled and fell but his attempts to stand were hindered by some unknown force. He looked up to see if he could catch a glimpse of his teammates through the fire but saw nothing but the raging flames picking up speed. He cursed internally._

_How did they end up in this mess?_

_He made a final attempt to stand, ultimately succeeding but felt pain and exhaustion setting in as he did. He turned to see the flames closing in, as he pushed his body ahead. He caught sight of a slight movement out of the corner of his eye and jerked his head in that direction, but saw nothing. He felt his body cursing at him, begging him to stop and rest but he kept on. Behind him, he could hear the crackling of the flames, as they seemed to come closer the further away he thought he got. In the distance he caught sight of his team and with renewed strength ran out to them. As he got closer he noticed the unconscious, limp bodies._

_What the hell happened?_

_He reached their bodies, shaking each one, hoping to wake them up. They needed to get out but he needed their help. Their eyes remained closed as he felt the heat of the flames intensify behind him, the roar louder than before. He looked down and felt his blood run cold._

_No! They can't...they're not..._

_With shaking fingers, he reached down to Rodney's exposed neck but never found out as the orange flames closed in._

His eyes shot open, the orange flames replaced by the dull gray ceiling of his quarters. He felt his heart racing, his mouth dry as he ran a hand over his sweat soaked face. With a sigh, he sat up, kicking the sheets aside and reached out for his watch on the nightstand. Time didn't seem to matter anymore but it was a habit that he found hard to break after all this time but it was more of his anchor, his anchor to Atlantis. It kept him sane, he laughed at the thought, something materialistic and small kept him from losing it completely. He sighed again as he rose from the bed and walked over to the window, pushing the curtains aside.

He watched as the sun hid behind a few clouds, leaving behind a dull gray shadow on the world. The sun never seemed to set in this planet and it had messed with his internal clock in the beginning, it still did but not as much as before. His body refused to conform, continuing to run in Atlantis' time. That and his watch were the only way he was able to keep track of time, other than that, the days just seem to flow into one another.

He walked over to his washroom, turning on the water and looked at himself in the mirror. He saw a familiar face look back at him, a slight stubble on his cheeks and chin, the familiar unruly, out of control hair that Rodney always seemed to make fun of and hazel, tired eyes, the result of his lack of sleep. The nightmares had become more frequent and intense, creating more sleepless nights than ever before. He felt the exhaustion breaking his body, but he didn't give in, he knew he couldn't.

He splashed water on his face and continued with his morning routine, automatically going through the motions. He walked out to his living area, completely bare except for the usual couches, tables and chairs that every other resident in this place seemed to have. He had been given living quarters in the main building of the city, those which were only reserved for members of the High Council or other people important to the city.

There were a few paintings decorating the wall, he hadn't been aware that people here were even interested in art in the beginning, but one in particular had caught his eye. He hadn't really thought anything of it before but the other day after a long and grueling day, his frustration had exploded and he had thrown the first thing he could get his hands on against the wall, where it had hit the painting and it had fallen to the floor. Later that night he had picked it up, intending to put it back up but ended up staring at it for what seemed like hours.

The vibrant colors depicted what he thought was a setting sun behind the mountain landscape, which he considered odd since the sun never set here. The green landscape filled with jubilant people, celebrating something. There was no sign of any buildings or anything, just people and nature. On the far left of the canvas, stood a lone man, surrounded by darkness and shadows, looking over at the jubilant group. The sheer contrast gave the small area the main focus of his attention. No detail was drawn in; he looked more like a shadow except for his foot. It looked like he was stepping out of the shadows and into the colorful world; the foot was the only part of him that depicted any sort of detail. He had been both intrigued and creeped out by it but hung it back up anyway.

He sighed as he made his way over to the window, pulling back the curtains to let some light in but all that filled the room was darkness. He looked out to see that now the sun had been completely covered by dark, ominous clouds. With a shudder, he closed the curtains once again. The room was enveloped in darkness as he plopped down on the couch, leaning his head against the back, closing his eyes. He thought back to the day that had left him stranded here.

It had been a normal meet and greet, like it ever turned out that way, where it had looked like they had just made an alliance that both sides would benefit greatly from. Their technology was far superior to some other civilizations they had come in contact with, of course with a few exceptions. Much of their buildings, at least on the inside reminded him of Earth and they had wondered how the Wraith had not destroyed their planet yet, but hadn't voiced their wonder yet. Spirits had been high, as Rodney had dialed Atlantis, even he was joking around. Everyone was glad that for once no one had tried to kidnap or kill them.

He chuckled, they had really jinxed themselves. He only remembered that they had been making plans of a celebratory team movie night when out of nowhere a slight explosion filled the air, after that he hadn't been able to piece together very much, no matter how hard he had tried.

When he came to, he was back in Therophienos. He had been out for a few days and they weren't sure if he was going to make it through. They had informed him of his injuries but he hadn't paid much attention as he had looked around the infirmary, his team had been nowhere in sight. Stricken with panic, he had asked, no demanded for their whereabouts. He must have looked borderline crazy because he remembered the fear stricken faces of the staff, as they tried to calm him down and told him that the Governor would explain everything.

When the Governor finally came to see him, he demanded once again and this time was met with a sorrowful look, as the Governor explained that they had only found him, no one else in the wreckage. He was sorry to say that the others had most likely perished in the explosion. He had refused to accept it, demanding to be taken to the site. The Governor had told him that when he fully recovered, he would personally take him. That was not enough for him; he still needed to know what had happened. The only response he received was that everything would be explained when he recovered. The next few days in the infirmary had been hell for him and not to mention to the poor staff.

When he had arrived at the wreckage or what was left of it, his hope dwindled. _If_ his team had made it through there was no way in hell that they had made it out alive. The DHD was gone, not a trace of it left and the gate was spread out in pieces as far as the eye could see. The singed trees and shrubbery depicting just how big the explosion had been.

But he knew, he needed to believe that they had made it and that the explosion hadn't affected Atlantis, that they were looking for a way to get him back.

He finally received answers, or so he thought, he was sure the Governor only told him part of it. He had explained that they had been at war with a nearby city for years, even before he had taken his position as governor. They had once been living peacefully, great festivals would take place to celebrate their friendship and trade but a falling out had caused tensions to mount and a war to begin. He believed that they had probably seen them come through the gate and thought that the people of Therophienos had obtained outside reinforcements for their war and they needed to stop them before more came, even if it meant destroying the one way out of this planet.

He had been angry at the fact that they had neglected to provide this information before, that it would have probably saved his team. The Governor had apologized, saying it had been a mistake not to, that he should had said something from the beginning. The Governor must have been waiting for chance to jump in because the next thing he knew he was asking him to join their fight. He had been taken aback and refused right away; he needed to find a way back home. The Governor had accepted his decision, far too easily, he had thought. He figured that he probably thought that he would come around, he just had to let his revengeful desire boil over until he would feel the urge to act upon it, after all he was a soldier and would come to see that it would be necessary for him to fight but he had seen far too much destruction to know that this wouldn't end well, it never did.

He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and felt his stomach grumble.

tbc

* * *

_Oh, forgot to mention the video that inspired it was "Shadow of the Day" by Linkin Park._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews and following the story! _

**Chapter 2**

He slowly made his way to the mess hall, nodding hello to the few people he walked past. He hadn't really socialized with many of the people here, just the friendly hello. He had had longer conversations with a few of them but he mostly kept to himself, even after all this time.

He pulled open the glass door, welcomed with the familiar murmur of the collective voices that filled the room. Picking up a tray, he piled it up with the offered food. He was starting to miss Atlantis' food, not that he ever wanted to admit it. He scanned the place for any open seats, most were taken but he spotted a familiar face in the sea of unfamiliarity and made his way over.

"Morning, Orasen," he greeted as he placed his tray on the table.

A bespectacled man, with gray, thinning hair looked up and smiled. "Hello, Sheppard."

John smiled and sat down. It had taken the man a while to get used to calling him Sheppard, at first he insisted on calling him by his rank, out of respect he had said but after much insistence he had finally convinced him to stop referring him by his rank.

"I was beginning to wonder where you were. You are usually here before me."

"Yeah, woke up late. Missed my morning run too."

Orasen smiled. "I take it you will spend your day in the Records again?" he asked. Since he had found out that the city had a form of database, he had spent some time everyday sorting through all of it, hoping to find some mention of a nearby Stargate or something that he or his team could use to get him back home but so far, he had come up with nothing. He was beginning to doubt that he would ever find anything. He had learned some history of the city, mostly it had collaborated what the Governor had told him.

"I've become that predictable, huh?" he chuckled.

"It is understandable," was all he said before turning his attention back to his breakfast. Orasen had been the only one who seemed to understand what he was going through and knew not to pry too much. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he had befriended him so quickly, he wasn't like the others, he understood his desire to make it back home, and the hope that his team will somehow come back for him, that no one gets left behind.

He had been a part of the High Council long ago, after serving some time as a soldier. His military background was considered an excellent asset and he had become the Governor's right hand man. That was until, John learned, they had formulated what Orasen later learned was a suicide mission that unfortunately his son had been a part of. He had been devastated and the Governor had only said that sacrifices had to be made. He had resigned then, the High Council had said they understood but Orasen had thought that they knew that he was no longer able to do the job they needed him to and were glad to get him out of the way. They had allowed him to continue living in the main building in the city.

He had also been his greatest source of information, much of the information in the Records seemed to be incomplete, at least in John's mind, and much of it was biased in his opinion. Having been the Governor's right hand man, he had much information that the general public and records didn't.

The Governor kept many scientists in the city working on top-secret assignments that no one was allowed to talk about but Orasen had seen some of the results of their work. He was obsessed with perfecting weapons and creating the ultimate weapon that would end this war and make him the leader of the new government, but there had been other assignments that even Orasen wasn't allowed to know about but at the time he hadn't thought much about it, he had only thought the Governor was looking out for his people.

He would have thought there would have been some sort of resistance from the people in the city but he didn't find a mention of it. Orasen had explained that there had been but those that resisted began to disappear and in fear people had begun to meet in secret. Some managed to leave the city, he wasn't exactly sure where they had gone. He had helped some people leave, but he was only responsible for taking them to a path, a path he had shown him in one of their walks.

"So, will you tell me more about this game you were talking about yesterday?" Orasen asked, breaking John's train of thought.

"Football?" he asked excitedly as his eyes lit up.

"Yes, that is the one."

Orasen looked at the man in front of him as he excitedly explained the recreational activity he seemed to be so fond of. He reminded him so much of his own son, they both had the same drive and sense of loyalty but unlike his son, Sheppard seemed to be closed off, reserved, much like he himself had been, long ago. It had taken quite some time for Sheppard to actually trust him and he was sure that he still did not completely did but he knew that he probably didn't entirely trust many people so he had been satisfied with it. He had begun to learn more about the man but he was sure that he had only scratched the surface of who he was. He truly believed that his team would come back for him, that much he knew, that they had not perished in the explosion. It was that which drove him, kept him going. "Nobody gets left behind," he had told him.

He had seen Sheppard's hope dwindle as time went by and knew that the man seemed to be at the end of his rope but he refused to let it show. But he was able to see the pain and hopelessness in his eyes, his eyes said it all. Others might have not been able to see that but he knew because he had seen the same look in his own eyes, he was familiar with it all.

He knew the Governor was waiting for him to lose that hope he held on so tight to, waiting for him to break down completely. Waiting so he could jump in and have him join their fight. He wasn't quite sure why he had been so interested in Sheppard and why he was so adamant on having him join his cause. He had inquired into the issue, using old contacts that he still had but came up with nothing. He figured that the Governor thought revenge might drive the man. A man with nothing left to lose was a dangerous man; nothing would get in his way.

So, he helped Sheppard keep that hope alive, motivate him as much as could even going as far as going to the Records with him, hoping to find that piece of information he so desperately needed. As he got to know him more, he knew that no matter how hard the Governor pushed and tried to break him, it would never happen.

He enjoyed the times he would speak of his home planet, his eyes would light up and a boyish expression would take over his features and for a moment, he saw the heavy burden that weighed heavily on Sheppard's shoulders lift.

"Is there not another activity you spoke of? It was..." he thought back. "Oh, yes. Surfing."

He watched Sheppard's genuine smile grow bigger.

XXXXXXXX

Making their way through the recently polished hallways, John looked out the windows. The sun was fighting its way through the dark clouds but the clouds gained dominance as they swallowed the orange orb and once again, left the world in darkness.

"Sheppard..." He turned his attention back to Orasen. "I have known you for over four months and there is a question I have never asked."

He waited expectantly.

Orasen chuckled. "Perhaps I am becoming more like my wife in my old age. I am sure it would have been the first question that she would have asked if she had met you."

John smiled at the twinkle he saw in the older man's eyes as he spoke of his late wife. He had mentioned her a few times in the past but every time he did, a somber look would fall on his face, so John decided not to broach the subject. But this time he had a much different look on his face, one of happiness, mostly.

"Okay, let's hear it," he chuckled.

"Do you have a nice, pretty girl waiting for you back home?"

John chuckled. "I'm afraid not."

Orasen narrowed his eyes and studied him. "Hmm..."

John couldn't help but chuckle again and shake his head.

"If you say so," Orasen finally said.

As they descended the stairs, John heard the echo of his own chuckle fill the hallway. "That tone suggests that you don't believe me."

Orasen gave him a smirk and shrugged his shoulders. "But…" he started. "I see that this team of yours…they are your family. Am I correct? Do you see them as your family?"

He cast his eyes downward but stayed silent, as he thought about Rodney, Teyla, Ronon, Carson and Elizabeth. He wondered if he was ever going to see them again and how much they had come to mean to him over the three short years that he had known them. They had become his surrogate family, something he never thought he would find again. A family and a place to call home.

"That is good, that you have people you care about and who, I am sure, care greatly about you."

John looked up and gave him a small, lopsided smile.

Orasen shook a finger at him and chuckled. "But you still need a nice girl."

John chuckled. "So, what was your wife like?' he asked, hoping to get the attention away from himself and knowing that it would make the older man happy.

tbc

* * *

_This was mostly exposition but I promise the next chapter will have a bit more action._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

He was suddenly startled awake by what he thought was a scream. He wasn't quite sure if it had come from reality or his dream. He raised his head from where it had been resting on his arm, which had fallen asleep. He sighed as he tried to erase the eerie images of his nightmare from his mind. He was seriously considering giving up on sleep. He looked at the many papers and open books, or what the people of Therophienos considered books, laid out across the table.

_Another day and nothing._

He sighed as he stretched out his arms over his head. Sleeping in a wooden, hard chair had not been a great idea.

A sudden rumble shook the ground, the lights overhead flickering and this time he was sure the screaming had not been part of his dream. He hastily stood up, knocking over the chair as he did. Making his way quickly over to the door he was met with people scrambling about, many with fear and panic clear on their faces. He cursed the windowless hall that housed the Records room; he hated not knowing what was going on.

He ran up the stairs, taking two at a time, trying to maneuver himself around the people who were running for cover. Nobody seemed to want to stop and explain what was going on, fearing that losing a few precious seconds might mean life or death. He finally saw a soldier make his way down the stairs and flagged him down, hoping to get some answers.

"What the hell is going on?"

The soldier looked over at him, annoyed at having been stopped. "They have infiltrated the city," he said dryly before continuing on his way.

"Crap," he muttered as he hurried up the rest of the stairs.

The main hall was even more chaotic than the lower floor he had just come from. People ran every which way, many with fear in their eyes, others with intent, knowing exactly what was needed of them in the situation. Through the glass windows he saw clouds of black smoke and could make out, over the panic screams, the familiar sound of bullets.

With purpose, he quickly made his way over to the Governor's office.

"Colonel Sheppard." He was greeted as he walked through the door, letting himself in. The man was sitting calmly at his desk, a cup in his hand.

John couldn't believe how calm he was when his people were probably dying out there. "Have you seen what's going on out there?!" he indicated with a wave of his arm.

He set his cup down on his desk and calmly answered. "Yes."

"And?"

The Governor remained emotionless. "And, what?"

"There's a panic out there and all you can do is calmly sit there and answer yes."

"As I said before, it was inevitable that this should happen."

"Inevitable?" he asked in disbelief. "Inevitable?!"

The man set his arms on his desk and said nothing.

John huffed and shook his head. "I don't believe this."

The Governor stood and walked over to the window, placing his hands behind his back. "Besides, it will all settle itself soon enough."

John looked up and through the reflection of the glass saw the sly smile that the man had on his face.

"Wait, what's that suppose to mean?"

The man continued to stare out the window, taking in the chaotic destruction.

John walked closer to the man's desk. "What aren't you telling me?"

The man finally turned to face him, that smile never leaving his face. "They believe they have the advantage. That this was a surprise attack and that their explosive devices are far superior to any weapons that we posses but I am afraid they are mistaken."

John didn't like where this was headed.

"We have developed a much larger, concentrated explosive that will do more damage than their measly weapons and it is on its way to their city as we speak."

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Don't you understand?! There is _no way_ either of you will come out on top!"

"That is where you are wrong, Colonel Sheppard."

John shook his head in disgust. "And what about those people out there? You're just going to let them die?"

"There are sacrifices that must be made."

He had heard enough as the anger began to boil inside him.

The Governor walked around his desk and over to him. "Will you join us in our fight?"

John looked over at him in disbelief, was he really asking him after everything that had been said. "Are you serious?"

"You will be a great asset to our new government."

He ran a hand over his face. "I can't believe it. After everything that I just said you still expect me to join you?"

The Governor stared at him intently.

John shook his head. "I'm sorry but I don't see it the way you do. I can't and I won't. I made it clear since the day I got stuck here, that it wouldn't happen…no matter how hard you pushed."

"Do not worry, you will come around. I can see it." He answered with a sneer.

John resisted the urge to strike him; it was taking every ounce of his self control not to lash out. He kept his arms at his side, his hands clutched into fists.

"No. No I won't and I won't let these people die."

The Governor waved a hand. "Do as you wish, Colonel Sheppard."

He turned to walk out and heard the Governor call after him. "I will see you soon."

John ignored him and continued on his way out to the panic mass. People continued to run but with a more determined course of action this time, after probably realizing what the situation was but he still saw the panic evident on their faces.

"Sheppard!" A voice called out through the panic screams.

He jerked his head around to the source of the voice. Orasen made his way through the crowd over to him.

"Orasen, we need to get these people out of here!"

"You take them to the path that I showed you, they will find their way from there but they need someone to look after them until they do."

"Wait, where are you going?"

Orasen glanced outside.

"You can't go out there! It's suicide!" He indicated with a wave of his hand to the destruction outside.

He felt the man grip his arm tightly. "Sheppard, it will buy you time." He saw the sadness in the man's eyes. "And you know as well as I that there is nothing left for me here in the land of the living. My time is up, dear boy."

John quickly glanced at the scene outside and returned his gaze back at the old man. As much as he didn't want to see somebody else he knew die, he understood the man. As much as every instinct in his mind told him no, he slightly nodded.

Orasen loosened his grip on his arm. "You get out of this alive, Sheppard. You understand? Find a way back home. I am certain that your team will make their way back to you. Whatever happens..._do not lose hope_."

John nodded again.

He felt Orasen squeeze his shoulder and smile. "Besides, I may be an old man but it does not mean that I do not know my way around a fight."

John smiled.

"Goodbye, my friend." He left before John had a chance to answer.

He finally got the few civilians that had decided to escape, to the path. They hadn't met any resistance along the way. He made his way back to the city, taking the same path he had taken to get the civilians out, hoping to find Orasen.

As he turned a corner, he was momentarily stunned as something made contact with the side of his head, the force of the blow knocking him onto the ground. He shook his head and opened his eyes, ignoring the pain in his head, just in time to see a foot start to descend onto his face. He quickly rolled away and with one swift movement was on his feet again. Taking the momentary surprise of the soldier he delivered a swift punch to the poor guy's face. The soldier stumbled back but quickly recovered, raising his gun, aiming for John's chest. Before he had a chance to pull the trigger, John rammed his full weight against the soldier as they both fell into a heap on the ground. They struggled for dominance, rolling around on the dusty ground; he felt the bits of rubble sting his back as the struggle continued. He saw a momentary lapse of attention in the soldier and used it to his advantage. Gaining the upper hand, he gave one final strike, knocking the soldier unconscious.

He felt the adrenaline running through his body, the blood pounding against his ears, his breathing harsh and heavy. He swung the soldier's gun over his shoulder and picked up his own from where it had fallen during the struggle.

He heard the familiar sound of gun casings falling on the ground, and the sound of bullets whizzing through the air, some making contact with concrete and metal, while others made contact with their intended target. He crouched down behind a fallen boulder. _C'mon John, think._

"I see you have decided to fight with us."

With one quick movement, he turned and aimed his gun at the source of the voice. The Governor stood looking down at the unconscious soldier at his feet with a sinister smile on his lips. "I knew you would see the right of our ways."

John's head started to pound. He tried to shake the pain away, never letting the gun in his hand drop. "No."

The Governor took a small step toward him, the smile never leaving his face. "Yes. I knew you would want revenge. Revenge for what they did to your friends." He walked closer. "I knew it would be the one thing that would drive you to join our fight."

The pounding grew stronger. "They're. Not. Dead."

"Do not lie to yourself, Colonel Sheppard. Deep down you know they are, even if you do not remember, you know they are gone. Your friends are dead. You saw the wreckage, there was nothing left. They could not have survived that explosion. The enemy killed them and now...Now you must avenge their death."

He felt another rumble shake the ground and the Governor looked up and smiled. "It will soon be over."

He fought the urge to pull the trigger, to wipe that sick smile of the guy permanently but that wasn't like him, he couldn't do it. As much as he would like to his conscience held him back.

"One last time, Colonel. Will you join us?"

"No."

The Governor shook his head. "I have to say, Colonel. You are one tough man to break. Most men would have given up by now. But you…" he gave a small chuckle. "You didn't. I have to say that is an admirable quality, one that I greatly value, which was one of the reasons why I knew that you would be an excellent asset to our cause."

John tried to stand but the pounding in his head had become unbearable, leaving him no choice but to listen to the Governor's crazy speech.

"But you must know that there is nothing left for you. There is nowhere for you to go. Your friends are dead and no one, I am afraid will be coming for you. You are alone and joining me is your only option…" he looked around at the destruction surrounding them. "Unless you wish to die here."

He felt the exhaustion slowly take over his body, the adrenaline finally wearing off as he let the Governor's words sink in and he slowly lowered his gun.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He watched the Governor's smile grow as he lowered the gun and let his arm fall limply on his lap. He could feel the blood from his head wound running down the side of his face, he was out of options.

"Why me?"

The Governor gave a small chuckle. "Like I said, you have many great qualities that make you of great value to our cause, one of which is military expertise. Sure we have that now but you…" he pointed a finger at him. "Your methods are different than ours, different tactics which will give us the advantage over any that try to oppose us."

John tried to focus on the words but it was becoming harder and harder to concentrate as the pounding increased. He had no energy left, his body starting to give in to the exhaustion, as he watched the Governor kneel down to his eye level. He saw there was something else the Governor wasn't telling him; hell he didn't think he had been truthful at all.

"That's not the reason, is it?" he managed to say.

The Governor gave small laugh and shook his head. "Looks like you are a smarter man than I realized."

"Yeah, heard that one before," he said with a chuckle that didn't help the pounding in his head.

"Perhaps we should leave this conversation for another time, when we are not in the middle of a battle zone?"

John became aware once again of the sound of chaos and destruction all around them.

"We should leave this place. We have many things we need to look over," the Governor said as he stood up and reached down to help him up.

John looked down at the gun in his hand, lying on his lap. The roar of the explosions becoming louder and the sound of bullets increasing.

He felt the Governor's hand wrap around his arm and something inside him clicked. With renewed strength he raised the gun once again. "Yeah, I don't think so."

The Governor hastily straightened up, somewhat surprised.

"I think I prefer to die here, thanks. Don't really feel up to being your little errand boy or whatever. Besides in case you didn't know I'm not very good at taking orders."

Anger took over the Governor's face. "What does it take to break you?!"

"If it makes you feel any better…" he gave a smirk. "Some of the best have tried and failed."

Much to John's surprise the Governor smiled. "I am not so sure…" he narrowed his eyes and John didn't like the wicked smile he wore on his face. "I knew physical torture would be useless, that I would have to get creative. Mental torture, on the other hand, although it does not leave visible scars, it leaves scars nonetheless. I believe it is a much more effective method to break men like you."

He gave a chuckle. "Your attempt to hide it…well, I have to commemorate you in your attempt. Very convincing. But I see how the death of your friends is eating at you, knowing that you have nothing left…It is why I knew I had to make you beli-"

A louder, bigger explosion that sent rubble flying through the air and all around them interrupted his words. John felt the ringing in his ears and the pounding in his head increase as he looked over to see the Governor's smiling face replaced by one of utter shock.

"What?!" He watched the glowing orange fire intensify. "That is not possible."

"I told you this wasn't gonna end well," he said through gritted teeth. "It never does! You were gonna end up finishing each other off."

"No," he said before turning and running off into the distance.

John stood up and leaned against the boulder for support as the pain in his head exploded. He shook his head in a vain attempt to clear the pounding. Just before he lost consciousness he heard a shot ring out.

XXXXXXX

He tried to open his eyes but his head throbbed at the thought. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the pain, he slowly opened his eyes. Blinking a few times to clear his vision, the gray, smoky sky overhead came into view. The last thing he remembered was the Governor running off and the pain in his head intensifying. He waited for the wave of nausea to pass before he attempted to pick himself up into a sitting position. As he did, he suddenly felt a strong, sharp pain on his side and he fell back onto the ground once again. His right hand automatically went to his left side, feeling something warm and sticky, he groaned. He raised his hand and saw the crimson stain his fingers. _Nice job, John. Get yourself shot._

He knew he needed to find help before he bled to death; he grudgingly sat up, ignoring the pain as he looked down at the blood beginning to flow freely, and it had to be sooner rather than later. He gave a deep breath and attempted to stand up, using the large boulder he had used as cover before for support. The pain in his side and his head increased ten fold. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, waiting for it to pass. After what seemed like an eternity, he opened his eyes, clutching his hand against the wound in his side, hoping in vain that it would stop the flow.

He finally took the scene before him. The place was destroyed, or what was left of it. Rubble from fallen buildings littered the ground, and those that were still standing emitted black, thick smoke from burnt out fires. Some fires hadn't completely gone out as they raged on. He saw the orange flames intensify as they were fueled, the crackling filling the air. Trees, which had once been green and decorated the pathways proudly, were now either black or toppled over.

He had seen this too many times and yet was still shocked at the scene, one could never get used to it.

He shook his head and started to walk, or more like stumble through the wreckage, not quite sure of where to go, he didn't think there was anywhere to go. He caught sight of a handgun nearby on the ground, slowly reaching for it, ignoring the agonizing pain that reminded him that he didn't have much time left. He checked the clip, with his luck it would probably be empty but luck was on his side as he noticed a few bullets still there. He continued on his way, he doubted he would meet anyone along the way but he felt naked without one.

He stopped as he tried to get his bearings. He could go back to the main building but would there be anyone left? He could head back to where he had left the civilians but that would take time and energy, as he looked down at the blood staining his shirt he knew that those were two things he didn't have the luxury of. He felt a wet drop fall on his cheek. He looked up and saw through the dark smoke, dark clouds filling the sky. He silently cursed, that was the last thing he needed, especially now. The first thing he needed was to find shelter. Taking a few more wobbly steps, he heard a roar of thunder and the skies let loose. Within seconds he was drenched to the bone as he shivered involuntarily.

Ignoring the cold, he took another step and lost his balance. He managed to break his fall, sticking out his arms, landing on his knees and hands but the quick movement aggravated his injuries. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth as the pain increased, this time not wanting to be ignored.

He felt the drops of water slide down his face and onto the ground and he opened his eyes, the dirty water stinging his eyes. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and noticed the dark red streak left behind. He looked down as the water slid off him and gathered into a puddle, no longer clear as he expected but a scary shade of dark red. He tore his eyes away, looking up at the dark sky, hoping for some answer of how he could get away alive but none came.

_So this is how it's gonna end. _

He chuckled. The sound of his own laughter an eerie reminder of how alone he was.

_Alone._

He shuddered as the word echoed in his pounding head. He closed his eyes as the last of his energy left him, falling completely onto the ground. The smell of wet concrete filled his nose as he unconsciously inhaled the dust that had settled on the ground causing him to cough.

_Team, family gone. Dead. _

The scene of the wreckage at the Stargate flashed in his mind. The nightmares that plagued him and finally the last time he had seen the Governor. He saw his sneering face clear in his mind as he told him, "They're dead."

He opened his eyes as he coughed once again, noticing the specks of blood that stained the ground near him.

He felt his breathing become strained; it was getting harder to stay focused. He tried to pick up his head but to no avail as it came crashing back onto the ground.

He had tried. He had given it his all, but this time it just wasn't enough. His team was gone, this time they were really gone and no one, no one was coming for him. He closed his eyes as his breathing became more labored; the coughing fits weren't helping either. He waited for the end.

_Do not lose hope._

Orasen's words somehow broke through his exhausted brain. But lying there he knew it wasn't that simple, he had tried but he had failed. He had lost it; there was nothing for him to hold onto anymore.

_No. Get up, John. C'mon, get up. You're not gonna die here, they're alive._

He opened his eyes as he heard movement off in the distance. With difficulty he reached over for the gun that he had dropped as he had fallen. He sluggishly picked up his head and looked straight ahead, aiming his gun, where he thought he heard the noise but all he saw was a curtain of water and smoke.

His head threatened to fall once again when he caught sight of a group of silhouettes moving between the rain and smoke. He kept his gun at the ready but his vision began to blur. He shook his head, hoping to keep the darkness that was enveloping him away. The pain of his injuries increased, if that was even possible, he was fighting a losing battle with his body.

He saw the silhouettes come closer and used his last ounce of strength to keep his gun steady, finger on the trigger.

He frowned as he thought he caught a glimpse of dreadlocks on one of the silhouettes.

_Ronon?_

That wasn't possible. They were dead. He was already starting to hallucinate.

"Sheppard!" was the last thing he thought he heard before the darkness overtook him.

tbc

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_Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Last chapter coming up._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Here it is the last chapter..._

**Chapter 5**_  
_

He heard a faint beeping, people stirring about and he tried to listen closer, the sound of the ocean? Before he could make up his mind he faintly heard voices, familiar voices. He rattled his brain for the last thing he remembered. He had thought he had seen Ronon and someone had called out his name, or so he thought. He tried to open his eyes but the pounding in his head prevented the simple action, so he opted to keep them close for the time being. A sterilized and familiar smell filled his nose, well he was in an infirmary, that much he could make out. As he became more aware, the voices became clearer. Relief, happiness and several other emotions that he couldn't describe washed over him.

"No, no, no. What are you doing?! You can't do that!"

"Why not?" A gruff voice asked.

"Because you can't. Those are the rules."

"Whose rules?"

"The game's rules!"

He heard small footsteps approaching. "I suggest you two lower your voices or Carson will not let us stay." A female voice chastised the two.

"But, but, but-"

"Rodney." Teyla said sternly.

He finally opened his eyes, the familiar Atlantis infirmary was a sight for sore eyes. As much as he hated being stuck in this place, for once he was glad to have woken up here. His sight finally landed on his team. He smiled as he saw Rodney clearing the chessboard, with Ronon grinning at him. Teyla just shook her head as she stood watching them. They hadn't noticed he had woken yet.

Rodney sighed dramatically. "Can't wait until Sheppard wakes up, at least he's a worthy adversary," he muttered under his breath.

"Well, glad you think so, Rodney." His throat was dry and his voice came out rough.

Three heads turned to look over at him and he gave them a tired smile. They quickly made their way over to his side. Ronon handed him a plastic cup filled with water. He took a small sip and felt the cooling liquid sooth his dry throat.

"How are you feeling, John?" Teyla asked.

"Well, other than the pain in my side and head, I'll say pretty good. Better than I felt…umm…" He realized he didn't know how long he had been out. "How long was I out?"

"Few days," Ronon answered.

"Yeah, Carson said you caught an infection or something," Rodney said.

"Or something?" he asked, chuckling at the way Rodney had said it.

"Hey, we were all pretty worried so it was hard to concentrate on all the medical jargon."

"Okay. I'll let it pass since you were so worried," he teased. They chuckled.

"I have to say, it's good to see you guys."

"And it's good to see you, in one piece…well almost in one piece," Rodney replied.

John gave a slight chuckle. "Yeah, I thought I was a goner back there. How'd you find me anyway? I had been trying to find a way back but came up with nothing."

"And what the hell happened?" he added as an afterthought.

"You do not remember?" Teyla asked.

"Not really. I had been trying to piece it all together but came up blank. I just remember we were talking about a movie night and then an explosion."

His team looked quizzically back at him. "An explosion?"

"Yeah. You guys didn't?"

They looked at each other.

"There was no explosion, John," Teyla answered.

"What the hell? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we're pretty sure," Rodney said.

Now he was confused, how did he come up with an explosion? He saw the wreckage.

"Then what happened? I mean you dialed the gate right?" he asked Rodney.

"Yeah, dialed the gate. Atlantis lowered the shield, and we went through."

John tried to scramble his brain for anything that he could remember but nothing came.

"You were right behind us, or so we thought but you never showed up, we were gonna go back when all of a sudden the gate shut off."

"Wait, so what the hell happened?" he asked.

"We were hoping you could tell us," Teyla said.

He shook his head; he didn't remember any of that. Then a thought hit him. "The Governor."

"What? Who?" Rodney asked, confused.

He sighed. "That crazy Governor wanted me to join him and his cause. Did Beckett find anything in my blood work?"

"Umm…" Rodney looked at the others. "I don't think so. He didn't say, which probably means he didn't."

"What are you thinking, Sheppard?" Ronon asked.

He remembered the secret assignments that even Orasen was not allowed to know about. "I think I was drugged or something."

"Drugged?"

"Yeah, not exactly sure when…"

"But if you were then it would have left your system by now, no? I mean that is if you were only drugged once."

John's thoughts wandered, he wondered what else had been a lie or hallucination or whatever. Had there even been a war at all? That was probably true, Orasen had confirmed that. Did the Governor destroy the gate himself to make the lie more believable? He wouldn't doubt it. Just like before, he had more questions than answers. "Yeah."

"Wait, why only you? I mean, not that I'm complaining but why you?" Rodney asked.

John looked over at him, not knowing what to say. He didn't have an answer to that and the Governor had been sure not to give him one. Maybe it had been his way to make sure that he never forgot, that he would torture himself, trying to figure out why he had singled him out.

He shook his head, chasing the thoughts away. That didn't matter anymore, he was here now and his team was alive and well.

"So, how'd you guys find me?" he asked hoping to change the subject. He looked at his team and saw the concern but they said nothing. He knew they were aware that he had purposefully changed the subject.

"Well…" Rodney started. "After we tried dialing back several times and getting nothing, we set out to find another gate that would lead us to that planet. That took a lot longer than expected. We couldn't find even a remotely close gate to that one."

"Yeah, I know. I tried looking for one too," he interrupted.

"We knew you would as well," Teyla spoke up.

"The Deadalus was on some sort of mission and nobody could get in contact with it, so they were no help," Rodney continued. "Just as we had thought we had exhausted all of our resources, we visited a planet that knew of a gate somewhere in the vicinity of where you were. We came back here, I looked for the planet in the ancient database and surprise, surprise, there was no mention of it at all. I mean why do they omit important stuff like-"

"So…" Ronon interrupted as he gave Rodney a look. John chuckled as Ronon continued, "we took a puddlejumper but it took us a day to get to you."

"And that is when the Dedaulus arrived. They boarded us and beamed us down to the planet," Teyla continued.

"And that's when we saw the destruction. I mean what happened?"

"Long story but basically got caught in the middle of some war between two cities," he answered. He was too tired to go into it now.

"Well, anyway, we didn't know how we would find you, but then we saw you there, bleeding on the ground. The Deadalus beamed you up immediately. I mean you should have seen Carson when he took one look at you. He told us that if we hadn't arrived when we did you would have most likely…" he trailed off as he looked at the others.

He glanced down at the cup in his hands. So he had been right, it had almost been the end.

"But…" he looked up at hearing Teyla's voice. "You are alive and well, which we are grateful for," she said with a smile.

The others nodded as well.

He smiled and looked over to the side, out the window. He saw the sun slowly begin to set, realizing it had been four months since he had seen a setting sun.

_Do not lose hope._ Orasen's words once again echoed in his mind. He was probably the only one that had been truthful; he had seen sincerity in his eyes whenever he spoke. He realized how much help he had been not just with information but also with everything else. He had been there for support, emotional support as he thought back, something he usually didn't ask of others. He hoped that he had gotten out; no he _knew _he had made it out alive and maybe someday he'll run into him again.

"Are you alright, John?" he heard Teyla ask.

He looked over and noticed the worried, expectant faces looking back at him. He smiled, "Yeah, I guess I'm just a little tired."

He noticed the doubt in their faces, they knew him too well and he averted his eyes, suddenly finding the creases of the clean, white sheets interesting.

"Perhaps we should let you rest, then," he heard Teyla say. He looked up at the concerned faces. "We just wanted to be here when you woke up to make sure you were well."

He gave them a small smile and nodded, hoping that would satisfy them for now. "Thanks and I'm okay. No major damage, Ill be up and about soon…if I can convince Carson, that is."

His team chuckled.

"Well, I better get back to my lab," Rodney said. "I'll come by later again." He gave a small wave as he walked out.

"And I've got some sparring to do." Ronon said as he patted John's sheet covered foot. "Movie, later?"

He chuckled. "Only if you smuggle in some popcorn, buddy."

Ronon smiled. "I can do that."

"Maybe some beer if you can," John called after him only receiving a small wave in return.

He noticed Teyla had sat down on a chair next to his bed. "Now, don't take this the wrong way but don't you have somewhere to be?"

She shook her head. "We decided one of us should stay with you for the time being. Each of us will take a turn and I am to take the first."

"Drew the short stick, huh?" He joked hoping to mask his uncomfortableness. He didn't really want people to make a fuss over him, but he knew his team was just looking out for him, doing what family does.

She looked over at him, confused.

"Never mind," he chuckled.

"Perhaps it is best if you sleep," she said with a smile.

He gave a small laugh, suddenly realizing how tired he was, the small burst of energy he had had earlier slowly dwindling. He watched as she took out a book and leaned back on the chair. He leaned back more comfortably on his pillow and closed his eyes.

He found he couldn't sleep, or more like didn't want to sleep. He remembered the vivid nightmares and the feeling of hopelessness he had felt just days before. As much as he had convinced himself that everything that happened would have no effect on him, he knew he was lying to himself. He hated to think that the Governor had been right; he had succeeded in breaking him.

"John?" Teyla's voice broke through his thoughts.

He opened his eyes to find her standing at his side, a look of concern on her face.

He attempted to smile but failed and cast his eyes downward. "I thought you guys were gone," he confessed, much to his surprise.

She didn't say anything, maybe waiting for him to say more, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else, it wasn't like him.

"From what you have told us I can see how you would have come to believe that." He looked up at her and she smiled. "But deep down you must have known that we were alive."

He looked at her confused. How could she have come to that conclusion?

"Why else would you have been looking for a way back to Atlantis and resisted the Governor's insistence to join his cause?"

He let her words sink in, slowly realizing she was probably right.

She placed a hand on his arm. "You did not lose hope, not even when surrounded by death and destruction."

He had been close, but he knew he couldn't give in even when he had thought he had lost everything. Maybe the Governor hadn't succeeded after all, he might have created wounds and like he had said it would leave scars but they would eventually heal. He hadn't completely broken him; he had managed to keep that hope alive. He knew the nightmares and fears would not disappear completely but he would use them to drive him.

He watched the sun finally disappear, the red and orange replaced by the black of the night, a few stars barely visible.

He looked at her and smiled. "I guess you're right."

She smiled as she sat back down on her chair and scooted closer to his bed. "By the way, did you happen to meet a pretty girl while you were there?" she asked and he heard the teasing tone in her voice.

"Why does everyone ask that?" he chuckled, fully aware at her attempt to get his mind away from what he had just been through. He didn't mind though, he was glad that his team would do whatever it took to look after him just like he would and always did for them.

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_Hope you enjoyed it and it answered some of your questions. Thanks to all that read, reviewed or followed the story, hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!_


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